What's inside the clouds?

Last post :)

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:17:42 GMT

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to inform you that I will not be posting here any longer. You can..unfriend me so that you won't have too much junk friend accounts on your list. I don't watch anime much anymore, so I don't have much to write about.

I have a different blog if you still would like to keep up with my life. Although I must warn you that it's probably going to be super ramble-ly and boring :P

it's called
http://neutralhues.blogspot.com/

I'll probably still come back here to read YOUR posts though to see that you're all healthy and alive. :)

M

People Friendship and the Spiral of life

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:55:04 GMT

You meet people. Befriend them. Hold them in high esteem. They become your confidants, your social life, your important people. Then you get to know them more and they become less and less like people and more and more like yourself. They don't make their beds, some only shower every three days, others never seem to notice their dishes piling up. You treat them less like friends and more like family. You actually get into real fights but mutual love seem to keep you stuck together. These people come and go and come again, they live far and close and sometimes you lose them to life. But always they randomly appear in your memory as you pick up a glass cup, the kind your old roommate was forever breaking. Or read a line from a book before and after 911 that you recall the very moment you were sitting in the car listening to the events as they unfold. And the person driving next to you who you are no longer with. Like the unyielding waves from the ocean memories and feelings flood your senses. Then you think about your current friends and soon to be family relationships and you realize that life is an endless spiral of people.

Vampire Knight Guilty 10

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:44:41 GMT

SPOILERSS!!

OMG!!! GOTTA HAVE

Fangirling

Cross is sooooo hot!!!! I <3 him..

Poor Zero. He's so emo right now :( Kaname is so sneaky! I hope he kills Rido. but I think that Zero is going to end up killing everyone @.@ The twins will have a big role to play; I don't really understand the whole twin thing ...

I'm beginning to notice how strong the brother/sister taboo thing is in Japanese stories. I wonder what the implications are of these "deviant" desires.

ughh.. I can't imagine being in love with my brother so they don't really have my sympathy o.o;;

My Scarf!

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:20:08 GMT

I'm so proud of my scarf <3

YAY! It took me two days to make it. I used a large knitting needle so it went by really fast. My sister's scarf took me a year to make! But then I slacked off a lot on it XD I also used super small needles (or rather the normal ones haha).

OMG! I want to make a coin purse out of a cassette tape!
http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=279328.msg3161563#msg3161563
Super cool. Check it out :) I wonder where I can buy those metal clasps for the coin purse.

Vampire Knight Guilty 6 - SPOILER ALERT

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:03:40 GMT

Some moments that I enjoyed from the episode

I love how at 15:04 Zero was asked to chase away the regular students. All he did was turn and glare at them! I laughed out loud because the writers obviously have Zero's character down pact. He doesn't change very much. Generally I don't like his emo character, but I like the way he is consistently this irritable arrogant guy. That's also very hot too ;)

Yuki is really annoying at this point. Super emo, super dramatic, and nothing ever comes of it.

I'm wondering what Shiki's dad is going to do now that he's in Shiki's body. Poor Shiki! :( His dad's aura reeks of coolness XD

I can't imagine Kaname and Yuki togehter! ><

It's OFFICIAL!

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 01:36:56 GMT

I'm sick. I am officially sick. My trash bag is full of snot covered Kleenex (TM). I can't breathe through my nose without inhaling snot down my throat (gross!). My body is weak. My hair is stringy. I sweat one minute and am shivering the next. My tummy can win the Olympics by doing back flips. I'm coughing. And my voice sounds all sultry and sexy. >.>

Vampire Knight Guilty Episode 5

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 05:15:09 GMT

OMG!!! GO ZERO!! I want Yuuki to be with Zero <3

Kaname is hot too, but ZeroxYuuki is much better!!

Finally Zero takes action *hopefully*.
SPOILER ALERT

Apartment Stench

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 04:35:14 GMT

So, you know how you have a certain 'you' smell. And your apartment does too. Like, when you go to your friend's apartment and your friend's apartment has a certain kind of smell. Usually not bad or anything like that, but just a specific smell that you're not used to.

Well, I don't have that at my apartment. Because, you can't smell yourself or your apartment. You should be used to it, so you can't smell it. But other people can. Or at least that's the theory.

EVERYTIME I walk into my place it has a different smell! Monday, it smelled like alcohol and left over ketchup that's been sitting out. The next day it smelled like flowers (very nice :) ) Then today, I walk into the apartment, and it has a very strange smell. Not bad, but.. kinda sour-like. I thought I left something out. But it wasn't a bad smell, so I ignored it for later (when I will do the dishes) to investigate. I saw that I left the Walmart bag sitting on the table. I walk over, take out my paper towel roll, unwrap it.. I felt a wet feeling on my stomach where one end was. Then as I peel the plastic off the paper towel roll, I felt a gooey texture. It was blue. I rush back to my dining area. 1/2 THE DAWN SOAP HAD LEAKED OUT!!!! That shit was expensive!!!! WTF!

*sigh*

Soul Eater 30

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:14:50 GMT

Type your cut contents here.
The anime is sooo good! I wonder what Kid is thinking. I wonder what the Death God is thinking!? Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

Kid is so freak'n awesome!! I love watching his fights. So elegant and powerful!
<3 Kid!!

Halloween Party

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 21:50:58 GMT

Two girls strolled into the woods. They found a witch who turned them into toads, who becomes the geisha's pet. Unfortunately the geisha is very clumsy and sits on one of them, wherein the Nurse comes in and with her sympathetic heart kisses them back into human girls.

Yami! I hope you feel better *huggs*.

I had a blast this weekend. My friends came to hang out with me all weekend! Some highlights, my make up was actually nice! My outfit was comfortable. Everyone was dressed up. One of my friends even made her costume, she was Rougue from x-man. I should have gone as an anime character. Let's see, I fell on my bum twice. Locked me and my friends out of my apartment. Met a cute guy ;) (He has yet to call me though *madface*) Dance dance dance! Took lots of pictures and all in all had a total blast!

Some serious notes: Everyone on my list I trust. So I post pictures here, so don't go showing it to other people! That's all *hugs*

Urban Dictionary Answers

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:42:57 GMT

I know some of these types of games are really stupid. But this one was quite fun. Try it to see what your answers are.

Go to Urban Dictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, the write the FIRST definition it gives you.

1) Your name: Mai
synonymous to a really really hot asian chick.
DUDE! Check out that mai.
The blue comments are my personal comments. This is my real name. >.>;;;
2) Your age: 26
750ml of alky
1 mickey + 1 mickey = a 26
I'm assumeing "alky" is alcohol. But I don't understand the mickey part o.o
3) One of your friends: Christine
A deity; the best person to be in your corner; unlimited power and potential; a muse; someone that can change your life. Someone that takes your side even when you're wrong; soulmate; kismet; fortuitous; serendipity
If I only had Christine, I could do anything!

4) What should be doing: studying
An excuse you give your friends when you want to stay home alone and masturbate. Also known as 'reading' 'cleaning your room' or writing a term paper.
"Want to hang out?"

"No, I'm going to stay home and study."
HAH! I've used this excuse before.. to both friends and family for when I want to be alone. But not <that> kind of alone XD
5) Your favorite color: Dark Chocolate
A handsome dude, with Dark Chocolatetly Complexion.
There goes Dark Chocolate (Terry Dhanraj) talking to those fine hoez.
My new favorite color, dark chocolate. I got a color analysis done and the lady said jewel colors look best on me. Dark dark browns are cool and also looks good.
6) Your birthplace: Minnesota
Minnesota: an upper MidWest state, populated by Nordic descendants (hence the Vikings NFL team) and Native Americans. Located on the edge of the flat and seemingly endless praire, the state gets blast-chilled by polar winds for most of the year. The bulk of the people live in the Twin Cities (hence the MN Twins MLB team) and the surrounding cookie-cutter sprawl, while the rest of the state is scattered with God-forsaken iron mining towns (up north) or small, Lutheranesque farming communities that produce wheat and soybeans, which later get moved around by unsightly, rectangular barges down the Mississippi river or shipped to far-away places from the Duluth harbor. The state is characterized by high taxes, high welfare levels (possibly Scandinavian influences), strong economy (scores of large co.'s are HQed here, incl. Gen Mills that made the cereal you are for breakfast, 3M that made your lint roller, Medtronic that made your grandpa's pacemaker, Hormel that makes the Spam you grew up on, Polaris that made your uncle Duffy's snowmobile, Target, whose repulsive target-eye dog seems to be everywhere, etc.), changing demographics (growing Latino, Somali and Hmong enclaves), changing politics (a pronounced shift to the right). Vacationing generally means "goin' to the cabin up Nort'" for fishing and boating, while the winter is spent is super-luxurious ice fishing shacks with TVs and bunk beds, drinking the local Grain Belt beer. The people are overall Minnesotah-nice, meaning that anything that they disapprove of is glossed over as "oh, that's different". The state's public radio service (recently renamed AMerican Public Media) produces some of the most popular national programs, such as Prairie Home Companion, Marketplace, Speaking of Faith, St Paul Sunday, Futuretense, etc. Quite a feat for a semi-frozen swath of land that has about 5 mil people in it.
Minnesota frequently makes it on the last page of your daily hometown paper as the coldest place in the nation.
Jeez louis! Minnesota seems to be very popular XD They forgot to mention the health institutions there are phenomenal. OH! They wrote HMONG
7) Last person you talked to: attendant
One who attends an orgy with little or no say.
Shut the hell up, Bob. You've got no say about what goes in your ass, you stupid attendant!
hehe.. I just got out of a parking garage XD This one was funny
8) Last thing you had to drink: Punch
To apply pressure to a surface by means of a fist.
"I am about to apply pressure to your face by means of my fist."

"Oh shit!"

9) Your nickname: Nava
A Hebrew name for a girl, meaning "beautiful"
My friends name is Nava.
Again a real nickname and surprisingly nice definition..

MEME from Yami, Urban Dictionary. I don't usually do these, but that was pretty fun XD

Clumsiness

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 18:11:37 GMT

I had guests tonight. We played "The worst-case scenario game of surviving life" game. It was interesting. I now know how to escape a bar fight safely. o.o

My friend bought me an ice cream cake Which I loved. I left the game to cut the cake so that I could serve it. La-de-da.. I'm cutting the cake. Cutting... cutting... "clonk"

I'm holding onto the knife-less handle now. The cake has flipped 180 off the counter landing head first, like an Olympic diver gracefully slicing through the water.

Everyone is gazing in shock. I quickly pick up the cake.

"Heheh... 5 second rule!" I say.

I dig the sharp metal knife out of the cake and continue to cut the cake. The floor was clean (I swear!). And, actually, everyone ate the cake!

That was the most awkward moment and series of events I have experienced. You know when you are just watching something happen, unbelievably, it is unfolding. I have two large slices in the freezer left. And I intend to eat the rest of it.

^______________^

They were very sweet to share the cake with me.

Vampire Knight Guilty Episode 2 Spoilers

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:29:10 GMT

Spoilers
Spoilers!!
When Kaname almost bit Yuki...
It was so erotic! Hottest scene. @.@
Making me dizzy...
So much bishies in this show too!

Weekend Plans

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:01:08 GMT

I guess this is how it is when your body just can't take the toll of these odd resting times. I haven't been able to sleep well in the past two weeks. I get insomniac frequently, but my body seems to have run out of steam today. Sluggish. Tired. Slept the afternoon away. Woke up at 11 pm. It's now almost 1 am. I should sleep now. REST.

I'm no morning person, so I should set my clock alarm as well as my phone alarm.

I sure hope I didn't catch the flu or cold or something.

YAY! Somthing I'm looking forward to this weekend. I'm having a dinner party with some friends at my apartment. My first guests at my place since I moved in. I need to clean it up a bit. I'll be making curry noodle soup. YUM . It's one of my favorite dishes. Curry soup, coconut, bamboo, chicken, herbs, sweet potato, and thin Japanese wheat flour noodles. My family uses rice noodles, but I like the Japanese noodles better. I can't wait!

I'll also be going to Chicago this Sunday if all goes well. Will be visiting some museums and Chinatown.

Swinging Feet

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:22:53 GMT

Those of us. Petite, little, cute. I can't seem to pass beyond these adjectives. Maybe if I'm professional. If I am more serious. Can I blend in? The class is so serious. 9 to 5 adults. Their long legs and blond hair. I try to blend in. Wearing collared shirts and shoes that "click-clock" on floors that mirror the ceiling. Relaxed gait. Shoulders back. Up the stairs. To my seat. The chair swings out. In a motion I sit. Steady. The heals begin to rise. Slowly my toes dance across the floor as the seat swings in. At last, my legs begin to sway. Back. and Forth. and Back again. Like a kid waiting for her mother at the doctor's office.

I have Snatiaiton

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 02:41:22 GMT

I have Snatitation

Type your cut contents here. I'm wondering who else does too.. It is the uncontrollable sneezing when overeating. My brothers sneeze when they over eat.. I sneeze when I over eat.. It is a dominant genetic trait. Now, who in their right mind would allow such a funny trait to be passed on?? :( :( *sneeze*

Reminiscing

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:47:05 GMT

For this blog I'd like to state first.. that is one challenging ass word to spell...

I was going through a forum and looking at some drawings and art that people posted. There were digital art, scanned colored ones, hand drawn, you know.. the usual. So I come across a picture of a bad guy from Dragon Ball Z. I cannot remember his name.. but my brother loves Dragon Ball. He love is it so much he named his son Krillin.

Dragon Ball seems to be an inspiration for him so sometimes when he's feeling creative he would draw characters from that anime. One evening he was drawing a character and ended up falling asleep in the middle. He woke up the next morning and the hands and feet were filled. There was a huge smile like this one :) on the face.

"What the..?"

"Krillin did you draw this?"

My three year old nephew had filled in the missing pieces of the drawing!

"Yeah. He was missing hands and feet."

Dexter, Personal Demons, and the Never Ending "Hell"

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:45:20 GMT

So, I just watched two seasons of Dexter. It is about a serial killer who kills bad people. Dexter is learning to accept who he is and learning to deal with his problem. So, it got me thinking. I had my own personal demons.

The biggest hurdle I've had to overcome in my life was really dealing with my own demons. (No matter how angelic they might seem to some people :P)

For the most part I am a scaredy-cat and hypersensitive. Many things that usually are not stressful for most people stress me out when I was younger. I was a little worry wart. When I was in 3rd grade I lost my teeth and when I felt it took too long to grow back I became very distraught. I would have nightmares and go on wishful thinking quests to try to make it grow back. I would ask my dad about how it would grow back. He told me that I had to make a sacrifice to a donkey and ask for the donkey's teeth. >.>;; Something you have to know about my dad, the way he thinks is to make up funny stories to deal with things in life. And, that donkey story probably had some superstitious truths that he believed in, but most of it was probably just to pull my chain.

Anyway, I believed him, and I would hope that my elementary school class would go on a trip to the farm. My class didn't go, it was the other 3rd grade class. I was devastated. WHY? Did I do something wrong? Was I a bad kid? What would happen if my tooth never grew back? Did it mean I had a disease? All these questions plagued me.

Well, that is one example of how my disorder works :P Now I deal with things differently. I've learned to relax most of the time. I've learned that somethings are out of my control. But, now I seem to be on the other extreme. NOTHING seems to worry me anymore. Well, on the outside anyway. But now my worries do not have an outlet and are manifesting in the form of strange sadistic dreams.

Although I overcame one demon, another one appears. Is there no end to this?

Two Piece Bathing Suit

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:01:29 GMT

Wow. I never thought I'd actually wear one of those. Like most girls I feel extremely self-conscious about my body image. Looking at those magazines does not make me feel good at all. Even when I was a size 3 (yes.. once a long time ago) I didn't feel sexy or beautiful. A couple of months ago I tried to change my attitude towards the way I look. The main reason was I felt shitty. I felt flubber. I jiggle, everywhere. And worst of all, I even thought of doing something baka like stop eating. (Which I could never do, because I do so ENJOY eating) Believe me, I'm the first person to say that beauty comes from within, and that my body is perfectly normal and sexy the way it is etc... I even worked at a Women's Resource Center to help teach girls about positive body image. But, I still did not have the confidence to be happy with my body.

So I thought I'd test myself on my vacation to Mazatlan, Mexico. It's on the west coast of Mexico, beautiful beaches and sunsets. I brought only two piece swim suits and a very sexy red sarong and wore that while I was at the beach or while I was heat bathing. (I don't sunbathe >< Skin cancer scare the jiggly puffs out of me.)

I saw a picture of myself in a two piece today. For the first time in my whole entire life. And you know what? DAMN, I look good! Sure my thighs jiggle (a lot) when I walk, sure I got a belly (was sucking it in for the picture ahhaha!), and sure my boobs aren't significant, but DAMN I looked really good! Confident. Sexy. Comfortable. And I looked like me.

This was such a revelation to me.

Me on the beach of Mazatlan. <3 I think only friends can see this (hopefully) ><;;

Lip Surgery

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:34:37 GMT

wahhhhhhhhhhh...

I just got lip surgery. Had a lump on it for a couple of months. I hoped it would go home on its own, but it parked itself snuggly on the inside of my lip.

I'm all numb.

Eating with stitches feels like I'm eating a cockroach!

It was a small surgery, but I felt emotionally drained. Wishing my family was here with me :(

I'm going to watch a happy anime to make me feel better.

Puffy lips out.

SMS protocol

Mon, 26 May 2008 18:49:58 GMT

My friends come visit me for a weekend. I usually don't have guests because I live so far away from friends and family so I was really excited to have my friends visit this particular weekend just to hang out. I'm in the car driving having a conversation with them and realize that one of my friends has been completely silent for the past 10 minutes. I ask her if she's all right and quickly learn that she has been texting her friend since we got in the car! I felt a tinge of annoyance as we drive on to our destination.

We've all had this experience. Or if you haven't yet you will because SMS abilities are becoming cheaper and popular by day and probably more popular with younger people (under the age of 40, yes I know that is a HUGE range). It's quite a new thing and there are no set etiquette for it. SO how rude!? I feel offended when people text or answer their phones while having conversations with people they are with face-to-face. I'm not trying to be uppity or snobbish, but I really did feel hurt by my friend's lack of effort in "being there" with us.

When a person has a personal conversation with another person whether by whispering, SMS, or telephone calls they have essentially created their own little bubble that excludes those around them. Sure they can step out of the bubble, but it'll be like walking into the middle of a mystery book where she would have to adjust herself to understand the rules and know the facts. Conversations, however, are not like a game, so in actuality, if you missed a conversation, you've already missed half of the information because conversations are really actions and reactions and if you miss the reaction it is an action that you can never recreate.

So I’ve thought about it and come up with some to dos and not to dos. These are purely personal.

- Text only when necessary and only if you have no social obligation.

o Text if you are notifying someone of something that will take less than 30 seconds to say. For example, “I’m outside” or “I love you.”

o It is okay to read text because it only takes less than 30 seconds to read.

o Replies should only be for confirmation. For example, “Okay, I’ll be right out” or “I love you back.” NOT “You’re outside? I’m hungry. Where do you want to eat? How about that new taco joint down the street? Did you hear from that girl last night?”

o AND if you must text back, excuse yourself.

o AND on another note, if you have to text more than a couple of words, JUST CALL THAT PERSON!!!!!! >.>

And besides, it costs ME money to receive text messages. HOW RUDE!?

Things I want to do in my life before I die

Sun, 04 May 2008 15:50:53 GMT

I've got some new goals. Continually growing and changing and reshaping my future. Now I imagine that I will be a professor someday. But not today. I want to own a bar in some hip liberal college town. I want to see and meet many people in my life. I want to smell, eat, taste foods from around the world. I want to drink all the wine I can get my hands on. I want to own a tea shop. I want to write a book that will change my life. I want to see myself in a two piece bikini. I want to color my hair blue. I want to dress up as a freaky goth anime character once. I want to be an expert at everything I do and know. Maybe I'll sing karaoke one day. I want to dive into the ocean. I want to save the penguins. I want to build a house with my own hands. I want a personal assistant and fashion expert. I want to collect expensive furniture and art. I want to collect folk art from all over the world. I want to meet a man who will sweep me off my feet. I want to be excited like when I was a kid on Christmas Eve. I want to try everything on the menu of the local Korean Restaurant. I want to meet a Korean actor. A hot one at that. I want someone to make me bedtime stories. I want to have an epic dream. I want to ride a horse, camel, a big dog, and a reindeer led sleigh. I want to save a child. I want to adopt a child. I want to learn to hula hoop. I will learn to swim one day. I want to own a bookstore. I want to laugh. I want peace on Earth. I've seen the Great Wall.

If anyone reads this, what do you want to do before you die? Give me your list! :)

snow day

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 03:38:27 GMT

yami probably doesn't know
but i use her page to get to my page..

:P if she ever reads this :P

":p: is all i can say.

i am pretty drunk.. not that trunk :P .. but if there is any mispelling.. oops

the sound of... snow plowing machinges urged me out there,

my exusee is smoking...

i don't smoke
but i do have a pck of cig..

anyway i know my sister will read this..
but
it was worth it ... writitng.. i wish i can write every thought i have

it was beautilfy
,,,,

the snow is beautiful..
its onl,y 936 pm. central american time standard..

it was beautiful..

i want to write everything i witnessed..

but

alcohol.. makes me gassy..

roomy already sleeping..

life is so beautiful.

Books etc...

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 17:54:30 GMT

I felt the need to splurge. So I went and bought two books and a journal. Somehow, I felt like buying these books would help me move on or at least help me cope.

The first book is called Single: The art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent by Judy Ford. The other one is a happiness book. o.O not sure what it is about I have not cracked it. But I did crack my Flylady book. It taught me to wear clothes, shoes and keep my sink shiny. Actually, it is working. I actually cleaned the sink and put on presentable clothing. But no shoes. -.- I think that is too much.

Do you know what I have realized? I don’t know very much about the world. Roomy knows more in that department. Sometimes I wonder if it even matters. Should I know about the wars in the middle east (not caused by the U.S. as well as those that we are involved.) Actually, I should know. @.@ But it is not on my priority list right now.

Childhood

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 17:01:25 GMT

Something I wrote a long time ago and decided to repost here.
---
My family was really really poor. My dad was still going to school, there was 7 kids in the family and my mom could not work (b/c she stayed home with us kids).

The winter time was the harshest for us. We would be wearing layers of our summer clothing. Before school starts my parents would buy us each a new pair of clothes. A couple of Shirts, one pants, pack of sox, pack undies, and a coat. Usually my younger brothers would wear clothing from my brothers who were older from the year before.

But one year my parents fell into a rut. They could not afford food, much less clothing for us. So my mom decided to go to a nearby church that gave out clothes. She swallowed her pride and went to the church for clothing for us. She dragged me a long. I remember I was old enough (4th grade) to be embarassed and know that we were too poor to buy clothes. So I stood at the door waiting for my mom as she picked through the piles of donated clothes.

She called me into the room. I reluctantly walked in. She held up a beautiful dress for me. She was measuring it on me and I was being a pain rolling my eyes and telling her to hurry up. Even though I was embarassed I also agreed with my mom that the dress was really pretty. I was actually happy that she had picked out that dress. I hadn't been able to choose my own clothes before and would always end up with clothes and shoes that were 2 sizes bigger. Everything looked baggy and ugly on me then. But this dress was so pretty with frills and cute pink flowers. Something I wanted. But I would not admit this.

My mom folded it up and placed it into a garbage bag and went back to look somemore. She told me to watch the stack of garbage bags that she had tied up. By this time it was noon and more people were showing up. I began to be annoyed and ashamed. I didn't want them to see me here. Everyone there was dirty, to me at least. I was afraid of touching anyone in that small room.

Then there were people pushing and screaming. Everyone wanted to get in. There was a long line out of the building. I got pushed over and became very angry. Finally my mom finished up and I helped her take the bags out to the car. She counted 2 bags. The third bag was missing. We could not find it anywhere. There was too many people around, EVERYONE had a black rumpled up half filled garbage bag.

My mom opened up the first bag and rummaged through it. Then the second one. She looked at me with sad eyes and didn't say anything. We walked out of the building to the van.

I never got my dress.